My boyfriend dumped me four times because I was too old for him

Despite the 20-year age gap, the sexual tension between Mia*, then 47, and Jake*, 27, was so strong they couldn't stay away from each other...

When a friend introduced me to her personal trainer, Jake*, I couldn't help but stare. Despite being 20 years his senior, I found him insanely hot with his toothy smile and strawberry blond curls. That June both of us were taking part in our first Tough Mudder challenge.

"I can train you for free," he said. I was thrilled.

I'd turn up for our workouts in a pair of short shorts. More than once I'd catch him checking me out, eyeing my slender hips and long legs. It was obvious that he, like me, was having fantasies about the two of us in bed.

Three weeks into our training, Jake asked me out on a date. But the day before we were due to meet up for dinner at a cheap Italian restaurant, he cancelled.

"It's not that I don't find you attractive," he explained. "I just don't want things between us to get complicated."

I'd be lying if I said I wasn't disappointed.

Sexual chemistry

Jake and I both liked horror films so one night after a run I invited him over to watch The Visit. The sexual tension was off the charts. "Don't get too close," I teased as we sat down next to each other. However, halfway through the film, Jake surprised me with a kiss on the lips. Within minutes, we were getting down (and dirty) on my living room sofa.

Soon, Jake was coming over three or four nights a week. We'd start with the pretence of cooking a vegan meal and, before we'd even finished preparing the vegetables, have sex in the kitchen.

That September, Jake ended things, saying he couldn't get his head around the fact that I was 20 years older. Instead of just enjoying what we had, he seemed preoccupied with whether our relationship had any long-term potential. To my mind, he was never boyfriend material. Still, I was sad to see him go as I loved our time together.

But six weeks later, Jake texted to ask if we could meet up for coffee. "Sure," I texted in response. And before I knew it, we were back at mine, ripping at each other's clothes and having sex in the hallway. Afterwards, he'd have me in stitches with his silly sense of humour.

Friends with benefits

In early 2016, Jake ended things – again. "We get along so well but..." he trailed off.

"It's okay," I replied. Yet deep down I was hurt.

It wasn't long until, in March, Jake got in touch wanting to see me. He suggested we try being 'friends with benefits'. "We can try," I told him, my heart full of hope. He'd bring over his keyboard and play piano, sometimes in the nude surrounded by candlelight.

Then in July, Jake broke things off for the third time by leaving for Australia without so much as saying goodbye. I was furious. He had planned on moving to Sydney come November so I was at a loss for words when he upped and left that summer.

'You probably hate me but I've been thinking about you a lot lately,' Jake texted out of the blue in January 2017. 'Can we talk?'

Curious to hear what he had to say, I agreed to what ended up being a four-and-a-half hour video chat. He apologised for how he'd behaved and filled me in on his new life Down Under. Seeing him on screen gave me butterflies in the pit of my stomach. It was obvious to us both that we still had a strong connection.

"Come to Australia," he begged. "We can rent a camper van and travel up the coast, from Sydney to Cairns."

"I'd love to," I said, without hesitation.

The ultimate betrayal

But a few weeks later, after I'd spent nearly £1,000 on a flight, Jake wrote to tell me that he'd fallen in love with another woman, someone his own age, and thought it no longer appropriate for the two of us to get together. For days, I wept, kicking myself for having trusted him.

The last time I saw Jake was in 2021. We met up for drinks in London and, as predicted, spent the night together. Although the sex was incredible, he was no longer that mischievous young man I'd once been so enamoured with.

Today Jake lives in Portugal. Both single, we’ll text every so often and exchange pleasantries. But it's very superficial. It's hard to say whether we'll see each other again. One thing's for sure – after what he put me through, I’d be a fool to want to spend any time with him at all.

*Names have been changed to protect identities.

Read more: All of Yahoo UK's How I was dumped stories.