'I'm a trans actor in Netflix's KAOS but I didn't expect to play a romantic lead'

• Misia Butler stars in Netflix's new series KAOS, a modern retelling of the Greek myths about the humans who rise up against the Gods as Zeus struggles to retain power.

• The trans actor shares his experience as a queer person in the entertainment industry for Yahoo's interview series Queer Voices.

• Misia Butler portrays Caeneus, whose identity as a transgender man is explored in the series, he becomes the romantic lead of the show

• KAOS is out now on Netflix

It's so hard sometimes to see yourself, there's so many tales that we go through in our lives — there's the romantic lead, the workplace person, the son, and one that I really struggled with growing up was the idea that I'd ever be a romantic lead.

To be able to play Caeneus in Netflix's KAOS has really changed that perspective in me, and I hope that it does that for other people. I think that his romantic plotline with Riddy (Aurora Perrineau), as a trans masculine person, puts people like me in that sphere.

For a long time I never asked anyone out, I never talked to people I was attracted to, because I thought, 'Well, they're never gonna view me that way because why would they? I don't exist in that sphere.' So I really hope that seeing Caeneus in that light helps other people.

Watch: Misia Butler speaks to Yahoo UK for Queer Voices

The Greek myths are such a queer group of stories, so KAOS's approach to inclusivity is amazing and the fact that it's so understated is a real power. I think it just naturally brings in the diversity of us as humans and, especially as a Greek myths nerd myself, I love how it brings out the diversity of the original myths in such a natural way.

Read more: The Greek myths explored in Netflix's KAOS

Caeneus' character brings in his transness in a really subtle way. I think it's very embedded in his story in the show, and I think that it's really beautifully done. But I think what Charlie Covell [the show's creator] does amazingly with it is that it's present without being all-encompassing to the story.

That's something we talked about a lot, something I raved about to them in the process of auditioning, and I think that with all of these main characters there was such a great discussion between the creative team and actors to really flesh out and develop the characters. With any good written character you feel a connection, you feel a part of yourself reflected in them and I think there's aspects of me in him, but I don't necessarily bring too much of me to him because it was all there on the page.

He is the ultimate role for me, it's slightly scary to feel like I might have peaked and I even said this to Charlie. They told me, 'no, you'll have plenty of great roles in the future' but in my head I wonder if anything is ever going to be as good?

It's Greek myths, which I've been obsessed with since I was a kid, he's a trans character but written in such a beautifully nuanced and integrated —but not all-encompassing— way, and it's part of a huge cast of incredible actors. I feel so privileged to be part of a show like this.

Role models

Elliot Page is probably my biggest queer role model, him coming out was such a moving thing for me because I've always felt this draw to him ever since I was a kid. I would rewatch Juno and Whip It on repeat and then when The Umbrella Academy came out I was bingeing that, so when he came out as trans that felt like an almost earth shattering moment.

It was just so beautiful to me and I've followed his journey and felt so happy to see him grow in the way that he has. I think it's really moving.

KAOS is a show I would have been most obsessed with as a teenager, as a child, at any point in my life really —It does tick every box for me— but The Umbrella Academy is another one. I just love the natural inclusion of different kinds of people in a context that is so wild and out there that you're not focusing on identity. You're more focused on the reality, the truthfulness of people rather than the labels that we have to put on.

Read more: 'The Umbrella Academy did right by Viktor’s trans journey'

There were many TV shows and films that represented the queer experience for me growing up. I used to be obsessed with a TV show called Orphan Black, which had a beautiful queer relationship between one of the clones and the scientist that she gets to work with, and then later on one of the clones turned out to be a trans man as well. It was Tatiana Maslany playing all of them, but I think overall the diversity the show had was really beautifully done, and that just had a grip on me.

A film of mine that was always a favourite was Tomboy by Céline Sciamma, and it just really encapsulated what it felt like for me to grow up. I've never felt anything else represents the experience that I had as accurately, but also, similarly to KAOS, it does it in such a nuanced and understated way that I just felt it was so poignant.

A lot of the things that made me realise I was not a girl were representations of queer women's stories, because there were so few examples of trans masculine representation when I was growing up and if there were they would usually be quite dark and hard to watch, so I didn't really watch them.

I think seeing a lot of women, and people who still identify as women, playing more masculine roles made me explore my masculinity, and then made me go 'oh actually the way that they're identifying doesn't necessarily correlate with what I'm feeling, let's explore that more'.

Tomboy was such a big movie for me as a teenager because of that, and a lot of these queer TV shows that showed very incidentally queer people really helped flesh that world out for me.

Divisiveness comes from ignorance

There's such a divisiveness in our community at the moment, and there's so much space for education and growth to combat that. A lot of it comes from ignorance and being told certain narratives, if people can be as kind, open, empathetic and honest as possible that's the best way for people to change and to learn, and to understand.

But I also recognise that puts a real burden, an emotional and sometimes traumatic burden, on people who are already marginalised, so there's only so much that people can do. I hope that support and community allows people to feel that they have the strength to stand up for who they are.

I've been really glad to see a big shift in terms of representation in front of the camera, but what's most important is actually who's telling the stories because that's where a lot of the power lies, and that's where a lot of the poignancy and strength lies too.

Seeing a show like KAOS that has inclusiveness so integrated in a way that never has to shout about it, never has to prove a point about it because it's just so embedded in it, feels like true strength of representation.

I see the future of queer storytelling becoming more nuanced and diverse. I think that queer stories have to be intersectional in so many ways, and another thing that we're seeing is queer stories aren't just able-bodied white people anymore.

They get to be about people of all races, all abilities, all kinds of people. I think that's what I love about KAOS, that we never have one type of one person, and I just see that happening more and more.

I would love to continue sharing queer stories in the future and I really hope that representation in general, and just being seen, has an effect on queer youth. It's really hard to see yourself playing any kind of role in your life — I don't even mean seeing yourself as an actor, which was something that I definitely had to get over— but seeing people on screen just existing as lovers, as fighters, as fathers, sons, mothers, children, siblings, all of that, it makes you feel part of a wider whole.

I think it settles you, and, for me, watching those TV shows and films, and reading those works that represented the queer experience always helped to make me feel like I belonged, so I really hope KAOS can do that for others.

Misia Butler told his story to Roxy Simons.

KAOS is out now on Netflix.

This article originally appeared on Yahoo TV UK at https://uk.news.yahoo.com/kaos-misia-butler-caeneus-romantic-lead-netflix-085452038.html