MAFS UK’s dating expert Paul Brunson defends controversial matches
Watch MAFS UK’s dating expert Paul Brunson defend controversial matches
Married At First Sight UK's dating expert Paul C Brunson has hit back at criticisms of the E4 show's seemingly controversial matching decisions.
When asked about previous occasions where viewers have said the show had mismatched couples who had opposing views on wanting children, Brunson told Yahoo UK: "I have to push back on that a little bit. The reason why I have to push back on that a little bit is because this is a topic that comes up a lot, right? And people will say, 'Paul, how did you match this person? They didn't want to have kids. They want kids.' No, no, no, we've never done that before."
He's one of the most popular relationship gurus on UK TV and has appeared on Married At First Sight since 2020 as well as Celebs Go Dating since 2018. The professional matchmaker isn't shy of having hard conversations, something he also brings to his podcast We Need To Talk with Paul C. Brunson.
Well loved for his straight-talking and no-nonsense style, Brunson got very candid in discussing the MAFS UK matching decisions and why someone who is willing to be "transparent and vulnerable in their story" makes an excellent podcast guest, but not necessarily the best Married At First Sight contestant.
Difficult MAFS UK matching decisions
MAFS UK star Brunson shut down any suggestion that the dating experts make the difficult decision to match couples who have conflicting 'deal-breakers', like their attitudes to starting a family. Last year, there were complaints from some MAFS UK viewers when Matt – who said on the show that he wanted kids – was partnered with Adrienne who admitted on the show that she didn't want children.
Questions were raised again this week when this year's Holly — who has two children — found out that Alex told her friend that he wouldn't have chosen to be partnered with someone who already has kids from a previous relationship.
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Brunson set the record straight on how the dating experts match the MAFS UK pairings saying they do not deliberately match the couples when they have conflicting values on things of important value like having children.
He explained: "What will happen is that when we'll interview them, they may say, ‘I'm open to having children, but only with the right person’. Never have we matched someone who said, ‘I don't want kids’ with someone who says that they want kids.
"But normally people will say, 'You know what? I'm open to it with the right person', and they end up getting matched with someone and they say, ‘You know what? They're not the right person. So therefore I'm going to say I don't want them.’ So that's how that plays out."
So how does the MAFS UK matching work?
Brunson lifted the lid on how the matching process really works for Married At First Sight UK. What may surprise some viewers is that the dating experts do not initially select the candidates who appear on the show, that's down to the show's producers.
"There’s a lot of different tests that go into deciding who enters the show," he said. "Myself, Mel (Schilling) and Charlene (Douglas), we're not involved in that."
Once TV bosses have selected the stars of the show, having successfully completed the interviews and background checks, it's down to the three dating experts to match the stars based on their compatibility.
He further explained: "Once we do have the contributors, we have a group of people. Then you want to look at things like values. You want to look at vision in life. You want to look at, sense of humour, etc, and you want to figure out how do people align with some of the top ones.
"And we don't have to align on them all. So everyone may have 25 sets of values, but as long as they're aligning on maybe three or four of the five core ones upfront, that's how you know it will be a strong match."
Hardest conversations
As a dating expert, Brunson isn't afraid to have hard conversations. They are something he does with his podcast We Need To Talk because he believes "the hardest conversations are also the most important". What surprised him this year about MAFS UK 2024 are the conversations that play out.
He said: "So this is the most diverse cast we've ever had for a variety of things. That diversity sparks conversations that we've never had on Married at First Sight ever. And I love that we're having those conversations.
"And we, as a society need to have more of these conversations because it's through having these conversations that we become better which is the premise of the podcast. That is what surprised me pleasantly about this series."
When Brunson is looking for a podcast guest, he wants to connect with someone "who's willing to be transparent and vulnerable in their story". However, Brunson isn't necessarily convinced these traits make the best Married At First Sight contestants.
He said: "I would say no (these traits don't make a good MAFS UK contestant) because one is more so steeped in entertainment. You need to have the vulnerability, etc, so you need to have those elements but not as deep as a podcast guest."
Brunson explained that MAFS UK contestants need to be able to showcase their emotions "quickly" and entertain audiences while podcast guests have time to "unpack" their feelings over the episode. He added: "In that podcast environment, you are locked in for that moment of time. There's no in and out. There's no back and forth. So I think that the desire to entertain becomes less in a podcast scenario."
While Brunson isn't casting the show, the dating guru now recognises that viewers are coming to watch the show for different reasons. In fact, he pointed out that no one is expecting — or necessarily even wanting — to see every couple succeed.
Reflecting, he explained: "My first series, we had four couples, three of them to this day: married, babies. Do you know what happened the next series? The entire format changed. I remember during that time I was so conscious about we need to couples need to make it to the end.
"Whenever I talk to people, I say, 'Okay, how important is that to you?' Because I'm just curious. For most people, they'll say, what you said, 'I want to see like a couple or two. But I also want to see all this over here.' That's not our thing because we're not casting it.
"But I realise that everyone watches for different reasons. And I think that a lot of people watch for the tension and then the growth that comes from the tension, or maybe the growth that does not come from the tension."
Married At First Sight UK airs nightly on E4.
This article originally appeared on Yahoo TV UK at https://uk.news.yahoo.com/mafs-uk-paul-brunson-controversial-matching-interview-113513760.html
