Not 'a good match,' overexposure: What people close to Jennifer Lopez, Ben Affleck say led to their divorce

Ben Affleck and Jennifer Lopez
Why did Ben Affleck and Jennifer Lopez split? Rumors are flying now that the divorce is officially underway. (Evan Agostini/Invision/AP, file) (Evan Agostini/Invision/AP)

As the dust settles from Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck's split, sources close to the pair have been busy talking to the media about what allegedly led to the demise of their relationship. Were they incompatible? Was Lopez's fame too much? Does the Oscar-winning actor have a "darkness" about him?

Back together for three years, Lopez filed for divorce on Aug. 20, the second anniversary of their Georgia wedding ceremony in Georgia. Neither star has publicly commented on the news and the rumor mill has gone into overdrive. Here's a breakdown of what's being reported.

Similar stories popped up alleging Affleck's behavior was part of the problem. A story published Aug. 24 in Page Six claimed Lopez gave it her all to make the marriage work, but "Ben has a darkness to him that no other person can fix."

"She truly believed this was the greatest love story she'd ever known and she was finally getting her chance at the fairy tale," a "Hollywood source who knows the couple" told the outlet. "She just really didn't stop to consider who the actual man was [in] the fairy tale."

The insider added that the "big love Jennifer believes in" is "not in [Ben's] DNA."

Hours later, People — a typically celebrity-friendly outlet — seemingly backed that up, with one source calling out Affleck's "mood swings."

"They were trying to work through it, but when the mood swings and the big highs and big lows informed a toxicity that was pervasive, no one can help you — you have to help yourself," the source said, adding: "The world was rooting for them, but who he said he was and who he turned out to be were two different people."

Yahoo Entertainment reached out to reps for Affleck and Lopez for this story, but did not receive responses.

One insider told Us Weekly Lopez's decision to leave Affleck "boiled down to [the fact that] they are two different people."

"She came to the realization things weren’t going to change and they were incompatible," the source added. "Spending time apart — it became obvious it wouldn't work."

That's similar to what one person told Yahoo right after Lopez filed for divorce: "They are just different people when it comes down to it, but there's been a lot of love there over the years."

After Bennifer first broke up in 2004, surely the actor knew what he was in for with Lopez the second go-round ... right?

Anyone who has seen Lopez's Prime Video documentary The Greatest Love Story Never Told seemingly saw the actor struggle with how much of their private life Lopez decided to share. However, sources claim to People that not only did Affleck have creative control over the film, but was the driving force behind it.

"He was very supportive of [Lopez] making the movie and her album," the source explains. "He knew every step of the way what she was doing."

The insider continued, "He loved the movie and album, but when you look at the doc, it looks like he's surprised by it and not signing up for it. He was playing the role of playing the regular guy and meanwhile, he was the engine in back of it."

In the documentary, Affleck recalled telling Lopez he didn't want "a relationship on social media" when they got back together.

"And then I sort of realized it's not a fair thing to ask. It's sort of like you're gonna marry a boat captain and you go, 'Well, I don't like the water,'" he said in the doc, adding: "We're just two people with kind of different approaches trying to learn to compromise."

(For what it's worth, photos of Affleck are still up on Lopez's Instagram as of Monday afternoon.)

On the flip side, a source close to the actor tells People he's "doing well and is very focused" since the news of their split broke.

"He thrives when he has work projects. He's been great when it comes to the kids too. He's doing exactly what he wants," the insider added. "He seems very happy."

Affleck allegedly felt he was "done with his marriage" when he first moved into a rental home in L.A. a few months ago, according to the same insider. "You could tell that he was upset about it though," the insider said. "He knew he was letting [Lopez] down. He felt very bad about it."

The anonymous insider also noted that Affleck and Lopez "have very different lifestyles. He realized he would never be happy with her lifestyle. And he didn't expect it to change."

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