My fiancée dumped me after I asked for a pre-nup to protect my wealth
Joshua*, 32, and Hannah*, 30, had a summer fling that turned into a two-year, long-distance relationship and a romantic proposal. But after three months of wedding planning and an awkward chat about a pre-nup, Hannah finished it. Here, Joshua shares his heartbreak...
At first, Hannah* and I hadn’t seen our relationship as anything serious, but after a few days of travelling through the Balearic Islands together, our original idea of a one-night stand went completely out the window.
We'd met on Tinder while both on solo trips in Spain. Hannah was independent, adventurous and hilarious. I was from London and she was visiting from a small town in Germany. Even though there was a slight language barrier, I felt like it was the first time someone really understood me.
Hannah and I both ended up extending our trips and even booked an extra week in Tuscany together. By the time the holiday finished, we decided that we wanted to see each other again… and as often as possible. After two months of dating long-distance, we decided to make our relationship official.
Although neither of us wanted to permanently leave our hometowns, we took full advantage of cheap flights across Europe, taking turns flying back and forth to see each other, or meeting somewhere new for us to explore together.
Long-distance love
It was hard not being able to see each other whenever we wanted, but we made it work. Thanks to the distance, we never took our time together for granted, which was a lesson I’ll always be grateful for.
After we celebrated our first anniversary, I started looking at engagement rings. Then after 18 months together, I hid one in my special safe, carefully concealed in my bedroom wardrobe. I knew I wanted to marry Hannah, but I wanted the engagement to be special.
After we celebrated our first anniversary, I started looking at engagement rings.
Hannah moved to London just before our two-year anniversary. That same weekend, we flew to Mallorca – the place we'd first met – to celebrate two wonderful years together. I proposed to Hannah on our last night there. We were back at the same place that brought us together, and it felt so right. She said 'yes' and it was honestly the happiest day of my life.
Wedding plans
We couldn’t wait to spend the rest of our lives together and started the wedding planning as soon as we got back from our trip. Hannah and I were on the same page about what we wanted for the big day – a small, intimate event with the closest people in our lives.
We loved looking at venues online – it even became our unofficial Friday tradition to get a takeaway pizza and search for the perfect spot to say 'I do' the next summer.
When the topic of a pre-nup agreement came up, the dynamic completely changed. It had always been in the back of my mind and I was dreading the conversation.
But when the topic of a pre-nup agreement came up, the dynamic completely changed. It had always been in the back of my mind and I was dreading the conversation.
I'm fortunate enough to own a house with my sister and would never want her to be at risk financially in case something happened with my marriage. Plus, Hannah and I both come from broken families, so I thought she’d be a bit more understanding as to why I wanted one. But I was completely wrong.
Bursting the bubble
Hannah’s face sank as soon as I raised the question. She said she felt as if I was planning for the worst and assuming that our marriage would fail. I hated that I made her feel that way. I tried to explain that it wasn’t anything personal against her, but I needed to protect myself.
Hannah said she needed some time to think about it. Things were uncomfortable between us for the next few days, and a week after our conversation, Hannah ended our relationship. She said she was completely 'offended' that I felt the need for a pre-nup and that she would have never said yes to the proposal if she had known I’d ask for one.
She said she felt as if I was planning for the worst and assuming that our marriage would fail. I hated that I made her feel that way.
I was so torn. I didn’t want to lose Hannah, but her reaction also made me wary of her intentions. She was so opposed to even having a conversation about a pre-nup that I couldn’t help but think she was partly after me for the money.
I felt like she’d made a lot of presumptions about why I'd asked for a pre-nup and despite my attempts to clarify the situation, we never got the chance to properly discuss it.
Losing touch
Two weeks later, she moved back to Germany and, apart from the odd WhatsApp message in the first few months after our breakup, we lost touch. The distance also stopped us rekindling our relationship, but we never really tried.
I don’t miss her as much as I thought I would. I realise now that she wasn’t my soulmate after all.
It’s now been a few months since what would have been our wedding day. Hannah still crosses my mind now and then, but I don’t miss her as much as I thought I would. I realise now that she wasn’t my soulmate after all. I wish we were still on good terms, but I've realised now that our splitting up was a blessing in disguise.
I've avoided online dating since then and have been on a few unsuccessful blind dates. I'm in no hurry to jump into another relationship and for now, I'm perfectly happy being single.
*Names have been changed to protect identities.
Read more: All of Yahoo UK's How I was dumped stories.
