‘Seeing her hurt was more than I could bear’: the family pets left in limbo amid Australia’s domestic violence crisis
Sarah* looked down at her phone and saw the text. It had no words – just a picture of her dog tied up in the sun, on a dirt road she didn’t know. It was January, the hottest part of the year.
She says it was sent by her husband, who she had left nine weeks earlier, fleeing with her two children.
Sarah tells Guardian Australia that her situation got so bad that she believes she and her children were at risk of being killed.
Sarah’s husband was struggling with substance abuse, had severe mental health issues and had access to firearms. They had been together for three years, and she says the physical and sexual abuse had escalated.
She also says that he had threatened to kill her, and would often hurt the dogs.
Last November, Sarah was moved to an emergency hotel for a week, before getting temporary accommodation. Neither place allowed pets. So while some of her pets stayed with another family member, a dog ended up back with her husband.
When Sarah tried to get him back, she says her husband refused. So she started a civil court proceeding – and she says that’s when he dumped the dog and sent the photo.
I couldn’t and wouldn’t leave my pets
Victim-survivor
Advocates know pets are often abused or used to control victims. They say despite violence towards animals being a high-risk factor, it’s not well acknowledged to be taken seriously by police and governments.
But, across the country, many crisis shelters will not allow pets, though state and territory governments say they offer alternatives if families have to be split up.
When Sarah went to a police station to report a breach of a domestic violence order in place, she says she was told that nothing could be done. She reached out to a mutual contact, who convinced her husband – who was away at the time – to reveal her dog’s location.
“When he came back he was basically emaciated, and he had burnt paw pads. He was very poorly looked after,” Sarah says.
Little room for pets
In the Australian Capital Territory or Northern Territory, no crisis accommodation caters for pets. A spokesperson for the NT government said it supports people to help get pets into shelters, while in the ACT some temporary community housing will allow pets.
In New South Wales, the government currently funds 94 women’s refuges, with a spokesperson saying they “will cater to animals where possible and safe to do”. Of the 54 crisis centres funded by the Queensland government, one caters to pets, a spokesperson said.
Western Australia funds 44 refuges and safe houses for victim-survivors of family and domestic violence, of which nine can accommodate pets, while the Victorian government said it was the choice of each of the state’s 30 refuges about whether to accommodate pets.
Tasmania has 20 homelessness shelters and three safe spaces, with just one shelter equipped to cater for people with animals. A spokesperson for South Australia Housing Authority would not say how many crisis centres there are in the state, but that “in most cases, pets are welcome”.
But Alison Waters, the CEO of Lucy’s Project, which aims to improve the safety of people and animals affected by domestic violence, says more funding is needed to make sure families could stay with their pets.
“This would include emergency crisis and transitional housing. We are also asking for training and resourcing for domestic violence, homelessness, community services and others, to help them to identify and respond to animal abuse as part of domestic and family violence,” she says.
Another victim-survivor tells Guardian Australia she stayed with her partner for a decade, until she left in 2021, because she was so worried about what would happen to her pets if she left.
“My husband was jealous of my love for the dog,” she says.
“If he was angry at me he would take it out physically on [her]. I became compliant really fast as seeing her hurt was more than I could bear. I couldn’t and wouldn’t leave my pets.”
Eventuality the abuse became so bad they fled, scattering the pets – three dogs, guinea pigs, chickens and a cat – into friends’ homes and animal shelters. They are now back with her and her children, but she says it was hard getting a rental property.
“What would have really helped was finding a rental that would accept me. The pets certainly didn’t put me on the top of the list and I have zero rental history,” she says.
‘There is significant demand for these services’
Counting Dead Women Australia tracked 28 women killed by violence this year. The outcry is palpable.
Fears for the safety of family pets can prevent or delay family violence victims leaving perpetrators – or be the reason they return – according to a recent report by the Australian Institute of Family Studies (AIFS).
Report co-author Kylie Butler, an AIFS research officer, says it can lead to extreme stress for family members and be a key indicator of “frequent and severe” family violence.
“Perpetrators will use that emotional connection people have with animals against them,” she says.
Related: Paw and order: Lucy the labrador provides support as Australia’s first full-time court dog
The research called for more crisis accommodation that allowed pets and factoring them into exit plans.
“[The] really, really big thing that came up was that there’s a lack of animal-inclusive shelters,” she says. “And a lack of other alternative arrangements for animals.
“The ideal situation is if you can keep people and their pets together. But in the absence of that, where else can animals go? Even that’s quite tricky, because there’s very few options out there.”
The RSPCA is also calling to have violence towards animals considered during bail applications.
The RSPCA offers services to help people and pets escape violence, but its chief scientific officer, Dr Suzanne Fowler, says the demand for the services is high, and they were not well funded.
“While the government generally funds programs around domestic violence, there’s little to nothing allocated toward animal shelters by way of financial assistance to support and grow the services they’re offering,” Fowler says.
“Sadly, there is significant demand for these services and facilities are often full.”
She says they often hear from women who find themselves in similar situations to Sarah.
She calls for police to be trained and supported to retrieve animals from violent homes where people have escaped domestic and family violence but have had to leave their animals behind.
“[It would also be] beneficial for violence towards animals, and threats of violence towards animals, to be considered when hearing bail applications and as a component of coercive control legislation,” she says.
“This would recognise the well-known link between violence to animals and domestic violence as well as provide better protection for humans and animals.”
* Not her real name
• In Australia, the national family violence counselling service is on 1800 737 732. In the UK, call the national domestic abuse helpline on 0808 2000 247, or visit Women’s Aid. In the US, the domestic violence hotline is 1-800-799-SAFE (7233). Other international helplines may be found via www.befrienders.org.
