Unashamed Ajax develop a taste for winning ugly

One thing was reaffirmed during this week's double round of Eredivisie fixtures: Ajax's status as kings of the undeserved win, rulers of inconspicuous underachievement and masters of unashamed profiteering from chance circumstances. If Jonathan Ross and Russell Brand's moment of comedic genius was in poor taste, Ajax taking 12 points from their last four dreadfully-played matches is nothing short of vulgar.

It's nothing short of ironic either. Ajax were named after a mythological Greek figure who, following the battle of Troy in which he had fought side-by-side with Achilles, took his own life because the dead Achilles' armour was awarded to Odysseus instead of him, who had rightfully earned it. Yet it is Ajax who are continually robbing better opponents of three points and now find themselves sharing the top of the table with the much more deserving AZ and NAC. It is telling for this most peculiar season that a side that has yet to play a good match finds itself there.

On Wednesday, lowly Heracles had Ajax cornered on their faux field and dominated the first half. A simple Luis Suarez header did manage to put visitors Ajax ahead with just two minutes gone - though only after Heracles' senior citizen goalkeeper Martin Pieckenhagen provided an unintended assist. Heracles were short-changed by fate as they went into half-time on level terms, Jan Wuytens having equalised with gracious help from the Ajax defence. Ajax needed a string of fouls to contain their opponents during the second half. Man-of-the-match Ricky van den Bergh hit the crossbar with two free-kicks, but saw Klaas-Jan Huntelaar score twice at the other end, and managed to get himself sent off in the scuffle that ensued after Ajax's second goal which completed a massively flattering 3-1 scoreline.

"Play football!" the Grolsch Veste, Twente's expanded and rebranded stadium, begged the figurines on the pitch with their chants on Saturday. But Ajax and a better Twente refused to oblige - save for whimsical Twente winger Eljero Elia - which didn't stop the Amsterdammers from slipping out with a 2-0 win.

"The two [displays] of Ajax-football that brought Ajax back to the top have nothing to do with their traditional virtues," Willem Vissers wrote in De Volkskrant. "Nihilism has been embraced at the former ministry of football, especially now that the club has discovered that it yields results."

"It's frustrating to sit here and … have lost 2-0," Twente manager Steve McClaren told the press. "We slept and lacked concentration for one moment towards the end of the first half and we were punished."

"A very sour night," added his central defender Robbie Wielaert, whom Ajax had tried desperately to poach just months ago. "Unnecessary. It was our own fault. We were too static."

Much more deserving of their share of first place are AZ and their brilliant striker Mounir El Hamdaoui, who couldn't possibly love the ball as much as it loves him. On Tuesday AZ trampled Roda JC 2-0, with two El Hamdaoui goals (his 10th and 11th of the season) compensating for Sergio Romero's unsightly performance in AZ's goal, which made the match look much closer than it really was.

"I feel nice and fit so I feel good," the ever polite El Hamdaoui, whose feet are more articulate than his mouth, said afterwards. "When I'm fit I feel good and it's wonderful when you're nice and fit." Fans everywhere are clamouring for his autobiography to come out.

His manager Louis van Gaal had a better explanation on Tuesday for why AZ had won six times on the trot after losing their first two games. "Because of the Olympics, players returning [late], etc. So we had to do our season preparation during the season," said an unapologetic van Gaal, who buys his excuses in bulk.

On Saturday a polished and calculated AZ got only a 3-3 draw from a wacky affair with Heerenveen. Another stupendously beautiful El Hamdaoui goal (1:50 into the clip) evened out Pavel Wojciechowski's first-ever strike before two goals from the quick-witted Afonso Alves play-a-like Paolo Henrique for Heerenveen, and goals from Brett Holman and Sebastien Pocognoli for AZ, settled the final score.

After losing to minnow city-rivals Sparta 2-1 in midweek, supporter patience with Feyenoord was wearing thinner than John McCain's oratory arsenal. "I'm not desperate yet," a desperate-looking Feyenoord manager Gertjan Verbeek had said. "I have to set a good example and focus on the game coming up." That short-term memory loss is a precious commodity in southern Rotterdam this season became evident on Sunday when Feyenoord finally stopped the rot and beat Roda JC 4-0. The brilliant Georginio Wijnaldum's goal and two assists were too hot for Roda to handle. "We were unfortunate to lose to Sparta," a calm Wijnaldum said. "We wanted to leave everything behind … start over and it yielded a good result."

"In a week and a half he celebrates his eighteenth birthday," Wietse Dijkstra of Algemeen Dagblad wrote. "But yesterday in Kerkrade, Georginio Wijnaldum tugged his plagued team along like a veteran regardless."

"You can tell that losing a few times in a row and being too low in the standings affects the players," Verbeek's mouth said before his brain realised it.

In the absense of manager Willem van Hanegem, whose fame and fortune can't persuade him to part or part with his foot-long eyebrow, FC Utrecht continued to perform. A tame 2-0 win over De Graafschap on Thursday was followed by another 2-0 win against Heracles on Sunday, in which un-prolific Utrecht striker Ali Boussaboun scored an impossible goal and missed many a sitter, to boost the embattled club to eighth place. Van Hanegem, who was so "stressed" after his corps of coaches and assistants was sacked last week that he had to take three games off due to sickness, will be back in charge as of today, possibly to the detriment of the squad.

In The Hague, ADO could have beaten PSV with better strikers and luck on Tuesday but lost 2-0 instead. PSV went on to beat Willem II in the week's eighth 2-0 outcome on Saturday. A quality finish past his own keeper by Willem II defender Arjan Swinkels put PSV ahead before the football gods decided to reward the bulky, boorish PSV striker Danny Koevermans with a glorious goal for his 30th birthday and 200th professional match.

"Three points, that was the most important thing today," Koeverman's media training said dutifully.

"It went in nicely," the more talkative Swinkels smirked. "I don't usually [score] any. Annoying, but it happens."

On Tuesday, Volendam avoided tying a record and becoming the first team to lose their first eight games since 1968 by drawing with Willem II 2-2. They sustained their furious streak with a plucky 3-1 win over De Graafschap on Sunday. Yes, Volendam still look like a long shot to stave off relegation but at least they earned their points fair and square this week.

Midweek results: ADO Den Haag 0-2 PSV; FC Volendam 2-2 Willem II; Roda JC 0-2 AZ; Heerenveen 0-2 Vitesse; Sparta 2-1 Feyenoord; NAC 0-1 FC Twente; Heracles 1-3 Ajax; NEC 2-2 FC Groningen; FC Utrecht 2-0 De Graafschap

Saturday results: NAC 1-0 FC Groningen; Heerenveen 3-3 AZ; FC Twente 0-2 Ajax; PSV 2-0 Willem II; Vitesse 3-1 ADO Den Haag; FC Utrecht 2-0 Heracles; Roda JC 0-4 Feyenoord; FC Voldendam 3-1 De Graafschap; Sparta 0-2 NEC