How to talk to children about upsetting news amid Southport tragedy
While it’s important to stay informed about what’s happening around us, the news cycle can often be a source of distress and upset when certain events take place.
Recently, the deaths of three young girls in Southport after a 17-year-old boy attacked a Taylor Swift dance class has sparked an outpouring of grief throughout the UK.
The tragic events that resulted in the deaths of Bebe King, six, Elsie Dot Stancombe, seven, and Alice Aguiar, nine, have dominated the news on TV, newspapers and online since the attack took place on Monday 29 July, while the victims and five other children, as well as their dance teacher, were taking part in a holiday workshop.
Parents across the UK may be worried about their children being exposed to the upsetting news and how to talk to them about it.
We asked the experts at the National Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Children (NSPCC) for advice on how parents and carers can broach the subject with kids.
Should I start a conversation about upsetting news?
Cormac Nolan, Service Head at NSPCC’s Childline free counselling service, tells Yahoo UK that whether or not to start a conversation about distressing news depends on the young person’s age and intellectual capacity.
"Where there is cause for concern, big or small, direct or indirect, a gentle check-in can be helpful, particularly for younger children," he says.
"This can help a child or young person to understand that space and people are available to allow them to express themselves. It can be useful to be aware of possible changes in behaviour - such as young people becoming withdrawn, irritable, or talking and behaving in a way that is out of character - [and] to point this out gently and to ask if everything is OK.
"It can take a young person some time to understand and come to terms with their sometimes confused thoughts and feelings, so it is always wise to offer them the opportunity to speak whenever they are ready."
With misinformation being circulated around recent news events on social media, Nolan adds that it is "worth reminding young people that there is a lot of news and information around - especially on social media - and that not all of it is accurate".
If you do want to start the conversation with your child, Nolan advises that using age-appropriate language can be key.
"A parent or carer starting the conversation can help to provide support for a young person who might find it harder to ask or to express how they are feeling," he says.
"Knowing the individual, their nature, fears, and accommodating those in any approach is wise. The level of detail an adult may decide to share can be influenced by the age of the young person and it can help to begin by checking in with the young person what they already know."
It’s also important to choose the right time and setting for a difficult conversation. Parents and carers must make sure they are setting time aside just for the young person and the conversation should not feel "rushed", Nolan says.
"Create an environment where interruptions are kept to minimum and the young person feels reassured.
"Exploration of feelings is important and it is always OK if the young person is unsure or unable to express how they feel at any given time,” he adds. “It is something to revisit with them and it is helpful to check in with the young person after the conversation or to pay more attention to how they are and how they are behaving.
"It is also good to provide information about other sources of support such as Childline, and this can include exploring the Childline website alongside the young person - bearing in mind we have a separate section for young people aged under 12."
Should I talk to my child about what to do about strangers?
If you are concerned about strangers entering workshops and classes during the summer holidays, Nolan recommends speaking to the people responsible for the environment your children will be in to ensure their safety.
"Teachers, coaches, instructors, et cetera; ask them to outline their safety procedures and, if possible, talk to young people as a group or individually. An adult may decide to help a young person create their own safety plan or make them aware of a group safety plan for such scenarios," he says.
"It is good to remind a young person to tell an adult if something does not look or feel right, or if they have concerns about something or someone.
"Childline is always available to talk to any child in the UK either online or over phone. Our trained counsellors are here 24/7 to help young people with any worries, concerns or questions - no matter how big or small they might feel."
Childline is available at childline.org.uk or by calling 0800 1111.
Read more about parenting:
How to talk to kids about loss as Kate Garraway shares sweet conversation (Yahoo Life UK, 5-min read)
Feeding your child peanuts from a young age can help reduce allergies later, new study claims (Yahoo Life UK, 5-min read)
Is marriage really better for couples and children? An expert weighs in (Yahoo Life UK, 6-min read)
