'Watching MAFS UK back is hell'
Erica Roberts tied the knot with stranger Jordan Gayle on Married At First Sight UK in 2023.
They finished the series as a couple but have since split.
As MAFS returns to our screens, the reality star shares her own experience behind the scenes of the Channel 4 series in her own words.
It's been a year since MAFS, where has the time gone? It feels like could potentially be a whole different lifetime ago and then it also feels like yesterday. A fever dream.
Obviously, it didn't work out with Jordan but the whole experience in itself, I look back at it and think it was the most incredible time in my life. I loved the process of filming and just living through the whole experience, getting advice from the experts.
It was definitely for the best that things ended. It just got to the point where I was completely losing myself in that relationship, I was pouring so much into his cup and not getting anything back. He relied on me solely to be his full support system, and that's too much for anyone. It was taking a complete toll on me and my mental health. I thought, if I don't get out of this now, look, I'm going to need therapy.
There were a lot of things in his behaviour on the show which were a clear red flag to me but coming out of the show, it just got worse. It was 10 times more intense. He promised me on the show that he would get help. It was just empty promises. I knew deep down: I can't be your therapist.
I found love in other ways, instead I got Adrianne (fellow MAFS UK 2023 star) and we had the best hot girl summer ever. So I got a wife instead!
The new Married At First Sight contestants should take everything with a pinch of salt, embrace it and enjoy it. When I watched Married At First Sight back, I'd be scrolling on Twitter torturing myself by reading all the comments.
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Everyone tells you: "Don't do that." But the new Married At First Sight contestants will do it 100% and we all did it on my series.
Try not to get wrapped up in it, just try to take the experience and everything for what it is. You need to enjoy it. There was so much love, being on the show, people were so supportive and lovely. It was so nice seeing everyone's kind messages and comments.
But there is also that side where you're getting hate and abuse. People are making all these assumptions about you based off like a clip they saw on an hour-long TV show that's obviously edited. That was tough. I did really struggle with that.
It got to the point where I became obsessed with checking the comments. My screen time at one point was 18 hours a day when MAFS was on because I was obsessed. I was checking every single day: What are people saying about me? What's coming up?
Now I'm at the point where there's nothing that could be put online that I've not seen about myself. It doesn't faze me anymore. It's like, oh whatever! You laugh about it and realise that these people are literally sat at home behind a screen sending people abuse. What normal sane person does that? So it says a lot more about them than it does about me.
It's tough, especially if it's like a bad episode where you've maybe lost it or I had an argument. People are obviously going to take sides and say what they want to say. It is tough having to read all these negative things about yourself when you're thinking, "Oh my God, that's actually not me!"
Watching it back was horrendous. Looking back at myself I think: 'wow, someone please, she needs an exorcism like this is not right'. I was angry. In that moment that was how I felt and you forget that the cameras are there because you're so wrapped up in in what you're going through. Admittedly, I can't watch some of the clips back cos I'm just like this is hell. I will never let someone bring that side out of me again.
I signed up to MAFS because I was having no luck with men whatsoever. The producers are clever, they know what they're doing. At the end of the day, there has to be a story. Think of the honesty box coming out, the questions are designed for each specific couple. Of course it's going to cause some drama and stir the pot and make people kick off and angry — especially if you're being asked your opinion about other couples. When would you sit down at a dinner party and say 'who's the worst couple?', 'Whose relationship is going to fail?', 'Who is fake in their marriage?' — You would never do that. We are set up to do that. Then we all act like best friends after. It’s bizarre!
Behind the scenes, we actually are quite free to do our own thing off camera. A lot of the time we'd go out and if we had down days, you're allowed to go into London. But we didn't have phones, we had these little burner phones with no internet. All we could do was play snake and text each other.
We had Netflix, which was good, but Jordan and I would go out for food all the time and go to the cinema. You don't have a phone and you can't talk to people. It's strange that we could go to Lidl, do our food shop and you are living in the real world but just in a strange bubble.
MAFS changed me in the sense that I am now better at setting boundaries for myself in relationships and knowing what I deserve. I'm not gonna settle for anything less than I deserve. For a long time in Jordan and I's relationship, I was doing that. I think everyone should live by that rule.
This year, I've been on more flights than I have dates and that pretty much sums up my life. Now my new podcast You and Me with Meryl (Williams from The Traitors) has taken over my life for the last couple of months. We've been so excited to get this launched and we're just absolutely buzzing about it. There was just a lot of pressure, cos obviously we want it to do well and we want people to enjoy it. But we are really excited to share it with everyone!
Erica Roberts told her story to Lily Waddell. Yahoo reached out to Jordan Gayle for further comment.
This article originally appeared on Yahoo TV UK at https://uk.news.yahoo.com/mafs-uk-hell-erica-roberts-interview-160435479.html
